7 ways to help a Special Needs Family

Want to know how to help a Special Needs Family? Here are 7 ways:

1. Accompany them to the store, Doctor’s appointments, Events, Etc. 

• Offer to accompany them to the store or to even stop by the store for them. I love when people offer this, because hauling a child with special needs, sensory needs, medical equipment, etc. to the store or really anywhere in general, can be physically and mentally exhausting. I’ll be honest, there have also been times our family or just me have not taken our Medically Complex son, Easton, out because we were not going to have extra hands. Having one or even two extra hands while trying to keep a child from running off, making a g-tube feed, putting a pulse ox on, makes a huge difference in our world. There can be times you really need some help on long car rides or need to take notes in the doctor’s office without having to interruptions. 

2. Take care of their meals

• This is honestly a huge one. Our schedule is very hectic with therapies, treatments for my son’s disease and multiple specialist appointments. My husband also works nights and has a complicated schedule. Even on days that are milder on therapies and appointments, I’m usually exhausted to the point the last thing I want to do is cook. Sometimes this results in a lot of unhealthy frozen options or quick, thrown together dinners. We had someone bring us four home-made meals one week after one of Easton’s major surgeries and man, it was SO nice to have! People have also sent gift-cards which again are a God send. 

3. Offer to help around the yard, house or with their animals

• It is very rare you find someone who likes to clean but when you have a special needs child, keeping a clean house is very important. I’ve tried to get into a routine of doing dusting on one day, vacuuming on another, but it never works out as planned and I end up doing it all on one day which ends up being overwhelming and even more exhausting for me. Offering to help the family clean, hiring a maid service, walking their animals or going to check on them during hospital stays, throwing some paint on something, cutting the grass, helping put together things, are all great help you probably don’t think about but would mean a lot to a struggling family. 

4. Bring them Coffee

• I will NEVER turn down Coffee. I repeat. I will NEVER turn down coffee. I drink two cups a day now and even more when Easton is in the hospital. I live off caffeine and while it is obviously unhealthy, it is my go-go juice. I recommend asking their coffee of choice beforehand though, because for me, I like a little coffee with my creamer! Delivery service makes this so easy now a days to plug someone’s address in on one of the apps and get them some coffee sent.

5. Help out with Expenses

• Finances can be rough for even a typical family but, when you have a child with special needs, it truly can become a burden. Financial support can be a real headache to get when you need it and it is usually not an overnight process. Medical bills pile up, parking adds up when you are there multiple times a week, food gets costly when you are inpatient, you find yourself coming out of pocket for a lot of things your child needs. Sometimes Easton needs special shoes for his foot braces, he needs extra chewing toys for his excessive chewing, we’ve paid out of pocket for some beneficial therapies. We have done multiple different types of fundraisers and have found a huge financial relief from these.

6. Offer without asking

• I know for me personally; I would almost rather completely exhaust myself than have to ask for help. It truly means a lot for someone to say, “I am at the store, what can I bring you?”, “I want to bring you dinner tonight, what can I bring you?” I know other families would love if someone said, “Let me watch your other children.” A lot of times people will say, “Well let me know what I can do.” But, if we gave you the long list, it would probably overwhelm you as well so offering specifics are a great way to help. 

7. Listen without comparing

• This one is a big one for me. I have a very hectic, exhausting, life being a mother of a special need’s child. Sometimes, we just want someone to acknowledge they see us, they see how hard we work, they see the long hours we put into making our children’s lives the best they can be. What we do not always want is a competition of comparing or a sense of Toxic Positivity. The truth is, everyone’s situation is completely different. Where one child may spend 10+ hours at the hospital a week, another may spend 10+ hours in therapies a week, etc. but it is all exhausting between the hospital stays, therapies, appointments, phone calls, supply orders, insurance and financial struggles and then the daily routines we go through with our special child. Try to just offer a lending ear instead of listening to reply. 

While these are just ideas, there are numerous other ways to help out a struggling family going through the rollercoaster of Special Needs life. Reach out to your loved one or family in need and ask how you can help. I would love to hear other ways you have helped a family or if you are a special needs family, other ways people have helped you!